The Illusion of Self-Love: Unpacking the Role of External Validation

In today’s social media-driven world, self-love has become a prominent topic of discussion. But before delving into its meaning, let’s first explore the essence of love itself. Echkart Tolle aptly describes love as a state of being, residing deep within us. It is an intrinsic part of who we are, unaffected by external forms or validation.

Unfortunately, we now live in a society where external validation often overshadows internal validation. The number of likes on social media has become a measure of our perceived likability or worth. We share posts to express ourselves, yet we seek validation through the number of likes received. As human beings, we are meant to connect with ourselves and others on a deeper level, experiencing emotions within our bodies and souls.

Have you ever heard the phrase “stay inside your body”? By doing so, we can drown out the external noise and draw closer to ourselves. Mindfulness, as taught by Thich Nhat Hanh and Eckhart Tolle, teaches us to stay present in every moment. When washing dishes, for example, we should focus solely on that task. Often, our minds wander to podcasts, music, or thoughts of what’s next, preventing us from appreciating the present moment.

While social media can be a powerful tool for positive change, it has unfortunately impacted many individuals in profound ways. Oprah once spoke about how, in the past, criticism would be limited to paper tabloids. Nowadays, we must carefully consider every word we say on social media, as it can easily lead to personal attacks. It is crucial to reflect on the meaning of power and how we utilize social media.

If love is a state of being, why do we seek it externally? Instead of focusing on external factors, let’s explore the things that bring us internal joy. What makes you light up from the inside out? How do you cultivate internal love? Personally, I find happiness when I am calm and fully present in the moment. These moments of balance awaken my true soul. Singing, dancing, meditating, being around present individuals, connecting with vintage pieces, being in the company of healers, writing, gardening, and organizing are just a few examples of activities that align my body and soul.

By collecting more joyous moments from within, they will eventually radiate outward. Many articles define self-love as embracing our true selves and accepting every part of who we are, and I wholeheartedly agree. However, these articles often fail to provide practical tools or emphasize the importance of “feeling” and “paying attention” as initial steps. To achieve self-love, we must first learn to feel and pay attention. Take note of those moments that ignite the light within you. Gradually, as we become more attuned to our feelings, love and joy will overpower any external doubts, and the rest will naturally follow.”

Mantra: “I am a beacon of inner light, embracing the present moment with gratitude. My true self shines from within, guiding me towards genuine joy and self-love.”

By embodying this mantra, we anchor ourselves in the present, allowing our inner light to illuminate the path to authentic self-love and fulfillment.